Friday, February 01, 2002

a new found glory

ooh, it's been a whole day. the highlights of my day were...being really fucking cold, AJ licking my neck, spending second break on the stage in the theater all by myself (until Vivi and Char appeared with Shane-news. Shane and Vivi traded sweater and jacket for the day, but now Shane won't give hers back. I gave her an excellent plan which she agreed was most fabulous, and then completely forgot about the plan when she saw Shane. It must have been all the emotion. She leaps after him yelling "give me my fucking jacket!"). I just didn't feel like being around people. I can feel myself getting more depressed by the moment. It's weird watching myself like this.

I also got my journal taken away by my hampster of a geometry teacher. I was on the edge of laughing hysterically at how high her eyebrows would raise were she to read any of it, and crying because I have just lost one of my four most prized possessions (my other three being my older journals. okay, so I havemore prized possessions, but those are up there).

In PE we're playing flag football. I forgot to bring a bra. Why wasn't I wearing a bra? because I was wearing my cherry dress, boots, and shredded thigh-highs and tights as a top. First of all, I can't wear a bra because the way the dress is cut, secondly I don't really need it. I entirely forgot about this until I was taking off my dress. So I buttoned up my sweater and hoped for the best, becasue there wasn't anything I could really do. Football sucks. You just get angry that the wind snatches their flags from between your fingers and you want to tackle them. But of course you don't want to get RPCed.

My mom called from Big Dog. Saying she'd be home whenever and she was out with a friend from work. My mom doesn't have friends, especially from work, and she never goes out. The last time she went to a bar (I assume Big Dog is some kind of bar-place) it was because she thought my dad had cheated on her pre-marriage and she got fucking drunk. From the woman who gets VERY tipsy on two glasses of wine. I should be worried, but I'm not.

La de da. Vivi is sad, I'm sad. So I'm probably going to grab some alchohol to take with us tonight. We are going to Roma's with Nikki. I'm taking the 10:20 bus up there. If anyone in Vegas has nothing to do tonight you should come. It's Roma's Cafe (a coffee shop) at Trop and Maryland Parkway next to 7-11. Really. I'll be the girl in big boots. Really, it'll be fun. Josh wasn't on the bus today, which means I shall never see him on the bus again. And since that was the entire exsistence of our friendship it basically means I'll enver see him again. But, the good news is that now I'll probably get to sit by myself.

Just look scary. Normally it doesn't work. But...actually...today and yesterday it didn't work either. Yeah, so, we're going to roma's. nothing more, nothing less. I hope it's not super fucking boring because Nikki'll be there. Vivi and I looked at each other after she invited Nikki to come with us and had the exact same thought: shit we have to get a social life so Nikki doesn't think we're boring I'm going solely for the purpose of having an excuse to chain smoke, to drink my own alchohol, and to catch a glimpse of Angela or some cute boi I can hit on. Mmhm. Yeah. I wish it was 10 already because I'm ready to go. Ahhh! I need to get out of here.

I should go play my guitar. But lying on my bed listening to Linkin Park seems so much funner. Actually, I'll take a shower. I was talking to this girl in PE about how much fun it is to wash hair. You think I'm kidding? I'm not. Washing your hair is fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. I want to redesign my blog. Need to find some cool pic. I'm thinking something along the lines of "A Star Is Brightest Just Before It Dies". But I think I may be subconciously stealing it from someone else's blog. ehhh.

adios. Pixie

Thursday, January 31, 2002

i just kind of run away

I'm sad. Which is surprising, because good things happened today. I decided not to be a cop out and stick with spanish, as much as it kills me. I mean, I will only get a half credit since I failed last semester. But...ehhh. We blew things up in chemistry. I ate some good curly fries. I got a package from my uncle today. Four books (all of them I've read with the exception of Gather Together In My Name by Maya Angelou, which is such a good book. I wish I had read I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings first, but, it happends), two magazines, thirty bucks and a note.

Went to Miss Pink's house and read my book. When we're together we usually just do our own thing and talk every now and then. Came home...my mom came home and I guess today in her class they were talking about prejudices. She was surprised that she had so many. Prejudice against poor, prejudice against rich, prejudice against queers. Lots more, but I only paid attention to half. My dad cooked pasta, which I love. My mom bitched "why do you cook food you know I don't like? Do I cook food you guys don't like?" I didn't say that she always did and always does make me eat green beans, especially fresh ones, when I despice them. I can almost handle canned french cut ones. But fresh ones. *shudder* I love so many veggies. Broccli, asparagus, artichoke, cucumbers, carrots, lettuce, corn, potatoes. But she has to give us green beans. I also didn't point out that the three of us really like pasta. My dad always have, I did when I had a chance to eat it (with my uncle), and my brother does (which he is just finding out now). It's three to one lady! Three to one. I get jibbed on what kind of pizza we order because of two to one. So there.

See...a good book, a good dinner. A fairly good day. I ate breakfast this morning and was so alert all day. I was amazed by the way my family can live a completely TV show life, so normal, while I'm in my room. I'm an outsider looking in but that's okay. My mom thinks I like to hang out with "weird" kids and thinks I'm "antisocial". That's so not true. I don't mind not being a part of my family.

A good day. But what's the point of a good day if you don't have someone to share it with? Someone to call on the phone before you go to bed just to say goodnight. Nic isn't talking to Vivi or I. Apparently something about wanting to get over me so he's removing himself from everything Pixie-related. This makes me sad, but I understand it. *sigh* I'm playing a game with someone right now. It's just a little game, they just don't know who they're playing it with. I realize that eventually the game will end, or they will find out who I am and then the game ends anyway. But...it's fun for right now.

The point is that *sigh* I just want someone to be with. Is it really so hard to find someone? We already know I have strange opinions of cute, so it's not like they have to be gorgeous by anyone's standards. Just smart and funny and nice. Who gets along with my aries persona, *lol*. I'm such a typical aries, which is by no means a good thing. But...at least I'm a typical something. pixie

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Cut - by Patricia McCormick

"I thought it was my fault," I whisper.
I glance at you,then away. You look worried.
"I think everything's my fault."
"What else is your fault?"
"I don't know, everything."
blah blah blah about family
"Has anyone told you that these things are your fault?"
"No one has to. I just know."
"Does anyone punish you for these things?"
I shake my head.
"No one?"
I look up at you. You still look concerned.
"What about you? Aren't you punishing yourself? By hurting yourself?"
I don't understand. "No."
"Then why do you think you cut yourself?"
"I don't nkow. It just happens. I can't help it."
You furow your brow.
"I know it's bad," I say. "I gues I do it because I'm...bad."
"How are you bad?"
"I do'nt know. I just feel like I'm this bad person."

in case you ever wondered. this book says it all.
5, 6, 7, 8, don't run away 'cause this is fate

Today was good. My counselor wasn't coming in until 8am (school *starts* at 7:15) so I didn't get my schedule changed. It was sooo unbelievably cold today. Everyone was seen walking around bundled up in huddles. I got a B in world history and a D in geometry. Both classes were boring. I never went to PE so...*laughs* It was just too cold, way too cold, to be standing around outside playing flag football. Hell no. So...S and I ditched. We went to her house and then to Port of Subs to get some grub. She let me listen to her Veruca Salt CD. The one that I lost. The one with my theme song. Volcanoe Girls. No, really, I've been thinking about this. And were I to have a theme song (ala Ally McBeal first season) it would be Volcano Girls. It was quite badass hanging out with S. She makes me laugh and we were just cracking up, singing songs. After lunch we went to her house, she fucked around on her guitar and I layed on her bed. I miss hanging out with her as much as I used to.

We had to come back to school, so I grabbed But I'm A Cheerleader (the movie) to borrow and we went to school. Where we proceeded to lock her keys in the car. I thought it would be okay, because I always forget to lock the car door. Of course that was the one time I had remembered. *groans* But, I had to run and catch the bus. Instead I ran into my brother, so we went to wait for my dad. La de da. My brother had a good first day of school. Ran into a lot of people he knew back in his middle school days.

My dad and I went and sent my uncle my hat and went to Barnes and Noble, where I bought another Moon Goddess book and stole a fiction book called Cut. I also started reading this really badass book called Pure Sunshine. It starts off with these guys taking an acid trip. Pretty cool. I should have stolen it, but I didn't have the foresight to. So now I owe my dad fifteen bucks because he didn't take me to get my check cashed. And because he didn't take me to get my check cashed I can't go to the movie tonight. Bummer. I am dissapointed about that.

We came home and I popped in my movie. My dad thought what he saw was pretty good. He was laughing. My dad is much more open-minded than my mom, he just doesn't know it. Then they were going to the movies so my mom started putting on her shoes and stuff and started paying attention to the movie (before she had been playing a computer game, dead to the world), and she was like, "God Brittany! Do we have to watch movies with girls kissing girls? Where did y ou get this!?" I told her I borrowed it from a friend. She rolled her eyes and said, "Of course, god forbid we know which one of your friends is bisexual but you can force your homosexuality in our faces". I shrugged and said she didn't know any of my friends anyway so it didn't matter. Of course she assumes if I have a movie with queer people in it I must have gotten it from a queer person. Because everyone knows that queer people only watch movies with queer people in it, and straight people only watch movies with straight people in them. And if you dare to watch a movie with queer people in it you're "forcing" your homosexuality in everyone else's faces. Fuck her. I mean, jesus fucking christ, for someone who is proud of how open-minded she is she sure is a closed minded bitch.

Sorry, it irks me. Bleh. Well...I'm off to do my homework like the good straight A student I want to be *smirks* who never ditches class *shit eating grin* no matter how cold it is outside. "You are the perfect drug the perfect drug the perfect drug...". Pixie
the more I give to you, the more I die

Or so Vivi thinks. Wait wait wait, isn't *she* the one that slapped me!? Hard! Isn't she the one that pushed me off my chair in chemistry? That bitch! I'm kidding, I love you Vivi! Even if you did eat half the kit kat that *I* earned. In chemistry we only had like, two absences, and it's senior ditch day. Half the class was talking about how they were leaving after the class, which shows how much respect everyone has for our teacher. He kept sending Vivi out of the room (apparently looking for an elephant fetus. Sure sure. Some G dawg tried to say the elephant fetus was in his pants but Vivi's a smart girl, *laughs*

I've decided that I like any music I can dance to. Whether it's Nine Inch Nails Perfect Drug, or New Found Glory Hit or Miss, I don't care, I just want to dance. But I won't ever dance to some bleach blonde tanned implanted gurl. No no no. (Sorry, I just found a really great internet radio station. Lots of NIN. I forget which group...possibly snake river conspiracy? Well, the guys found their chick because she was a stripper lapdancing to "closer", and that was so badass they had to have her.)

So...chemistry was fun. Our teacher's wife's class came in and we played elemento (element bingo). But Vivi and I just started singing showtunes because...well...elemento is only fun for the first half hour. La de da. Jessica got these really great new pants. Her hair! Oh her beautiful light brown hair. She was trying to dye it redish but left the dye on too long (well, she fell asleep, it was an accident) and her hair is like, practically bleached. So she wore these purple sunglasses that can only be described as...groovy...to detract attention from her hair. *giggles*

In chemistry my final grade is a C, in spanish it's an F and in english it's a B. In spanish I danced around and sang show tunes and told everyone about how I was getting the fuck out of there. In english we got new seats. I don't sit next to anyone I really know, but I do sit next to Nikki who is pretty slinkster cool. So...that'll be fun. I decided I didn't want to sit next to Josh on the bus. Because, if he thinks I'm a giggly airhead at least he won't think that I'm stalking him at the same time. But...I had to. Oh he's so cute :) Oh, and I talked to Jessy and she said Danny and Kelly can totally do surface piercings. So I'm going to get two on the back of my neck. Gotta set that up.

Came home and took a nap. My brother didn't get registered today because it was just massive chaos at my school. So, he is technically a drop out. My cousin Judy called me. She invited me to go to eat with her Saturday morning, just me and her. I agreed. My mom thinks that she wants me to babysit. She's like, why on earth would she want to go eat with Brittany? She must want her to babysit or something. Blah.

I told my dad that Robert would come with me to Ani and my mom's like, who is Robert? I said, "he's a boy, so he can protect me from the big bad lesbians, but he's gay so you know he won't touch me". My mom says "don't kiss him". I'm like, would you kiss a girl? She's like, ewww ewww no. I'm like, that's how he'd feel about kissing me. So, I'm telling them about him, y'know, maybe they'd want to know who he is, how I know him, or why he's coming with me to Ani. No, my mom goes back to reading her book in spanish and asking my dad for help. I'm like, fuck this, y'know. As I'm leaving the room she's like, so who is Robert? Leave me the fuck alone! Stupid ignorant close-minded fucker. It happens.

I'm talking to Vivi about checking out the indie film and my mom's like, what movie are you going to? I say an indie flick at the dollar theater. She asks how I'm getting money and I say dad's taking me to get my check cashed. She's like, when is he doing that? She makes me want to pull out my hair! I mean, my dad and I had just been discussing the plan for the past half hour. It's not like she wasn't in the same room or anything. Gah.

I've decided I love the movie Natural Born Killers. I just read the script and it's soooo good. "Oh, are you flirting with me? when i get mad and i get pissed i grab my pen and i write out a list of all the people that won't be missed you've made my shitlist". Bam bam bam, kick some ass. Oh yeah. Great script, I can't way to see the flick. La de da, indulged in my little Charles Manson obsession. It's not really an obsession, it's just a high interest. I can't help but be fascinated with killers and killings and murderers. "well mate, technically, I'm a mass murderer, not a serial killer". Charles Manson, Marilyn Manson, Marilyn Monroe. *smiles* I don't particularily like Marilyn Manson. I mean, I don't dislike him, I'm pretty neutral. It's like, if I can dance to it great, I'll d/l some MP3's, but I'm not going to buy any of his CDs (keep in mind I don't have any Ani CDs and I love her). I just really like what he has to say. And his makeup is so badass.

Yummmmmm! I've been in such a crazy mood lately. I need to buy new bras. *groans* I've only got three that I fit now. This is bad. I'm almost 16. Chicks on my mom's side of the family are notorious for getting stacked when they're 16. I don't want big tits! Josh said that Cody was a dumbass for giving a girl who slits her wrists a knife. And he said it was stupid and crazy how people can hate themselves. From the kid who hanged himself. Oh well, I'm working on it. Slowly but surely I'm working on it.

Waffles are so yummy. When Sperm Girl's grama drove us to school (from like, third grade on one of our family members drove us to school and one of our family members drove us home...her grama did it in middle school). I used to walk to her grama's house and her grama would make her waffles in this perfect state and SG would eat them and I'd have a few bites. And every weekend when I spent the night at her house we'd head to her grama's house (her grama lived behind her) to get some waffles for the morning. Or for the night. Big chocolate homemade milkshakes, waffles, macaroni and cheese, powerpuff girls. This like, defines my entire friendship with this girl. Oh, and lifeguards, and the pool. And slut power.

Remember kiddos, no regrets. Don't regret anything, because every little thing makes you who you are today. Every little thing. Pixie

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

trigger hippy

*yawn* I just got home. I'm really sleepy but I feel sick and I can't sleep. Like...my stomach hurts and I'm naseous. I've been listening to my body more and my instict more and stuff...because I think that's really important. People could know so much more than they do, but humans just repress their instincts. So, I try to keep myself open to these feelings. I get really worried sometimes because I will just have awful feelings and wonder if I'm just being paranoid. Like, the other day I was walking home from Miss Pink's house and just, this terror washed over me. Complete and utter terror like I've never known it before. I went and sat down on the sidewalk for a few breaths and contemplated what I should do. The closer I got to my house, the scarder I got. So...it's like, maybe something is happening to someone in my house right now and if I don't hurry something horrible will happen. Or, on the other hand, maybe I have this feeling to keep me away from my house and I should stay away. Inner conflict. I got home and nothing was amiss, so I can only assume that it was irrational or something happened to someone and they're not telling me. Because I couldn't sleep I decided to come online, check everyone's blogs, check my e-mail and make sure everything is okay. Everything is fine, I just feel sick. Probably just dinner or something ;)

Yuck, I was so slothenly today. I sat around and watched trashy TV and ate and ate and ate. Yuck yuck yuck. Other than that, nothing really interesting happened. My parents don't like me going to the Ani concert alone, but that was solved later tonight. Vivi wanted to go to Roma's and said her sister would pick me up and take me home so I decide sure, I'll go. They pick me up at ten and we get there. It's packed because poetry readings just ended. We were just in time to see Angela on the stage. *sigh* Her head is shaved again. As people started leaving we snagged a table. Cookie was there and we went and bought cigs. I've been smoking too much this weekend. But, it happens. I only really smoke when I'm stressed out or when I'm really thinking or when I go out or when I just want one. But, this weekend I smoke too much. Blah. We sit down and I see Robert. I saw him the other night at Roma's, but he was with a guy, and I haven't talked to him in so long I didn't want it to be awkward. And, as Vivi put it, if I went to go talk to him I might get in the way of him getting laid from that guy. So I decided not to. But tonight Robert was there again and he was all by himself. Cookie knew him and called him over. We said hi and chatted.

It was a mellow sort of sad night with a few good laughs thrown in. Robert's looking for love. I'm looking for love. Vivi is sad about Bob, and Cookie just goes along with the mood. Turns out he likes Ani. I asked him if he was going to the concert and he said he wished. Problem solved. I invite him to come with me, gee he'd love to come. So...now I won't have to go alone which will make my parents happy. And, it'll be with a guy, so he can be all buff and protect me (haha), but he's gay so he won't hit on me. I'll talk to my dad about it tomorrow. We go sit on the couch and this Abercrombie guy comes over and it was just sort of mellow. Right as Cookie is setting up to read my tarot Sayla shows up, so I come home.

Here I am, look at me! My brother starts my school tomorrow. :/ It's not going to be a big huge deal because we won't have any classes together. The only class we have that's the same is Chemistry, but I'm in honors and he's not. And he'll hang out in the courtyard, I'll hang out in the theater, but...I just don't like him around. On Wednesday my dad's taking me to get my check cashed, mail Gama's hat, and get the Ani tickets. I'll probably get him to take me to Hot Topic to check out the clearance rack (and I'm thinking about getting some 4 inch platform 14 eyelet boots for like, 35 bucks, but...I don't want to get them just yet) and to stop by Barnes and Nobles to get a few books.

Hmm...that's really it I guess. I really like Morcheeba. And Angela is so pretty. She's got such a cute smile and she's such a fucking awesome poet. Oh...Robert. He's not Robert the guy I used to have sex with, he's Robert that S and I were pretty cool with from youth group. Oh my gosh, Vivi gave him Nic's number and told him how great and gay he was. As a way to get back at Nic for giving the guy at the gay bar her number. The guy actually called, and gave the number to a friend of his, who also called. But...I know Robert and he won't call "Nikki".

I think I'll go to sleep. Nothing seems to be amiss so I'll just take a few advil and head to bed. Pixie

Monday, January 28, 2002

Rock Star

So it's been all of two days...ooh. Well, Saturday night I watched the movie Rock Star. It was pretty good, but Jennifer Aniston is too old to play the rock star girlfriend. She's in that age range where she's gotta be the older sister or the aunt or something. Not the girlfriend.It put me in a good mood anyway. A party mood. I call Vivi and she can't because her parents are stupid. We contemplate options and finally come up with a plan involving her sister. Her sister decides to help us get Vivi out. Yay!

So, I get dressed as fast as I can and *run* to the bus stup. I am not about to miss it again. No way. I'm so out of breath. I wait and wait and finally the bus comes. I get to Viv's place in like, 10 minutes. This is a nice change from the 30 it usually takes me. Her sister takes us to Roma's and lo and behold, who do we see but COdy. We say hi and he comes in with us. It's pretty much dead. THe four of us sit down on a couch. Cookie comes over and sists with us too. It's going pretty good, we're all having fun. Then Vivi's siser is going to go clubbing and wants to take Vivi home. After all, she promised her parents she wouldn't live Vivi alone at Roma's. Well, after we swore that we would take care of her and that Cody would give us a ride home, she does just that. We're just hanging out, and eventually it gets to be that time. They're closing and we have no where to go, which is so depressing. We go outside and try to come up with a plan. These two older guys come out, they know Cookie. We'll call them Cowboy and Other Guy. We all introduce ourselves. Other GUy says it's good to know the name of the girl he was fantasizing about. I laugh and say once he finds out how old I am he won't be so eager to fantasize about me. He finds out I'm 15 and assures me that what he had in mind wasn't illegal. Of course I'm intrigued. Tell me, I say with a smile.

He says "I was dreaming of you sitting in between my legs, your back facing me. I would have a brush in one hand and would be brushing your hair." I laugh. I talk to them for a while. They're in their early 30's. Cody is off hitting on Vivi and Cookie comes and goes. Somehow Rocky comes up and I tell them about how I played Janet my second night. Cowboy looks at me with a face of recognition and disbelief. "I knew I'd seen you before!" Oh my, talk about a small world. Ugh. He was there that night, of course. At 1am Vivi say shs ewants to go home, Cody offers us a ride. I don't really want to go home, but she won't leave without me. Finally we agree that we'll drop Vivi off and Cody will drop Cowboy and I off at Rocky. Bye Vivi!

The discussion on the drive is about how Cody doesn't think I should be out so late. Because I'm small and "perfect prey" and don't even carry a knife. I"m a little insulted by this. I don't think I'm invincible, but I certainly think I can handle myself pretty well. He drops us off and presses his knife into my hand, insisting that I take it. *sigh* I do. We go inside and I sit in a chair, just hanging out. I hug Scott :) This guy in a green coat and awesome rockabilly shoes comes out. I start talking to him. He asks me why aren't I watching the show? Is Rocky not my thing? I laugh and tell him that I played Janet my second night at Rocky, and it's so my thing. So, we're talking and he says I should join the cast when I see the movie more. Turns out his name is Douglas and he's the new guy in charge of Rocky. He's supposed to turn it around and make it all badass again.

Jenabe was there taking pictures, Robert played Rocky, Marshall was Frankenfurter, Scott was Eddie, of course, and Lester (the cappy) was Riff Raf. Sarah was Brad. I don't know Sarah personally. My first night at Rocky she played Rocky. I've also seen her do Frankenfurter and Janet. She was playing Brad and was good at that too. Afterwards I'm just hanging out and I go to breakfast with them. Oh my gosh, it was so funny. We were laughing the whole time. There is this story, it's Marshall's story (well, not his personal story but he knows the people it happened to), and I had heard rumors about the story so we finally coerce Meghan into telling us what it is.

It's this story about a gay guy picking up a guy at this bar. We go home and the guy is like, fist me, so the other guy is like, okay. And they're going at it and the fister is like, freaking out "dude, your ass is like, coming out of your ass". The fistee assures him that it's fine and tells him to keep going. The fister is like, "No, really, your ass is coming out of your ass!". I don't know if this is just Marshall's opinion, or if this was actually said, but apparently it was like "a blossoming flower". Meghan ordered a French Slam for breakfast which sent us into a laughing fit. The rest of breakfast-conversation was about strange things found up people's asses. *grin*

Then this guy Mike came in, and he and Robert are obviously not cool with each other. At one point Mike was like, "Shut up Robert, why don't you go fantasize about Jude?" Robert is like, looking like he's about to kill someone. This guy slides the pile of silverware away from Robert (which Robert had slid away from Jenabe because she was throwing forks at Mike, lol). Douglas ushers Jenabe, me, and this other guy out. He was our driver and didn't want to be around if there was a fight. He drops Jenabe off first, then the other guy, and me last.

He's asking me to tell him about myself, and la de da I do. We were talking about me possibly doing Janet in the future. I don't really want to talk about it, but let's just say that he likes me. A lot. In a let's-get-it-on sort of way. And let's just say that I'm not going to go there.

New plan for my hair. Instead of cutting it Josie-style I'm going to keep it longish. Just cut about a foot off, so it's like, 2/3rds down my back. And then I'm going to bleach it and dye it green. I've also been contemplating bod mods lately. Implants or surface piercing, and I saw the most awesome thing ever. It's a surface piercing of a star. You can see a picture of it by clicking here. I have those undies! So, anyways, isn't that badass? I was thinking, hmmm, maybe I'll get a star done inbetween my shoulder blades. I e-mailed this guy who got a ladder of surface piercings going up eitehr side of his back and asked him about it, and he said that it would probably migrate quickly because of how much tension there is in that area of the body. That's true. So now I'm thinking of just getting a double nape surface piercing. You can see a fine example of one by clicking here. Hmm...must talk to Jessica about whether or not her piercers can do this. I've got a hundred dollars now so I can afford to get it done.

Today is monday, we had no school. I spent the entire day in front of the TV watching That 80's Show, Grounded For Life, and some other show. Eating ice cream and cookies and chips. Oh yeah, I'm ms. fitness america.

I'm going to go check out Hot Topic's clearance rack and Savers. Any money that's not spent will be kept in the Vivi and Brittany Party Fund. Which will be turned into the Bob Moves To West Virginia Ice Cream and Alanis Morisette Fund. That way our biggest problem won't be money anymore. The theater where they show Rocky is supposed to start showing indie films. On Wednesday is the first one. I'm going to go and check it out. It should be fun. I was going to drag Vivi to the 11 showing so we could make a party of it, but I didn't realize that it was on a school night. So I'll probably just see the seven o'clock one. *laughs*

Oooh, I'm so going to the Ani concert. My dad just has to buy me my ticket. My parents still don't like the idea of me going alone, but whatever. Everything's going good money-wise. Well, actually no, we've got the same amount of money that we had before, but our house will be paid off soon and then we'll be much more comfortable. The end is near, and that's what makes it all better.

Three things I forgot to mention. In my Monroe dream, Marilyn had cuts going all up her calves. It was so...sad...because she was so beautiful. *sigh* There's this part of one of my Truman Capote books where he and her go to a funeral and he just talks about their conversation and she calls the queen of England a cunt. *laughs* Also, in my mom's little class they wanted like, signs of what you are. Like...I forget how to explain it. My dad said american, money, and stability. My mom said money, family, and safety. First my brother said superman because he didn't understand the question, but then said money. I wasn't in the room to hear all the answers, but when I came in they asked me and I said the arts. Anything artistic, paiting, sketching, acting, dancing, literature, poetry. What about money? They ask me. Fuck money. It's not so important. It just buys me tickets to the Ani concert. Pixie